How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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