I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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