what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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