those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
