Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
