420 ftw
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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