fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
