No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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