apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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