Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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