C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
