forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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