She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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