And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
