I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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