Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
