too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Congratulations! We have a period
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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