plz talk dirty to me
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
