a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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