Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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