Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
