summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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