I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I have post one night stand depression
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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