I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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