why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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