Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
