Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
