i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
