I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
