Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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