the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Randomize
