Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
