How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
