Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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