for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
