How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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