You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
