i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
