My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
