i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
