i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
