you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
