uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
