Cold hands, warm shart.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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