I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
