you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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