.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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