Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
you would pick up someone in the library
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
MIDGETS
????
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
