does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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