Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
