I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
