Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I'm having to shit out rocks
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
